Some thoughts.

So, these are the thing s I am think about right now. As far as the band goes, I want nothing to do with Prestn, Jimmy, or Kyle. Their personalities would clash with ours, and I just don't want to deal them, not even individually. Honestly, if it came down to needing another member, it'd have to be Jimmy because I know that he would be willing to do anything with us. Preston questions everything and always wants cigarettes, and Kyle is going to school, so he just couldn't commit to anything. But, the thing is that Jimmy likes to argue about shit and brings up stupid points to the table. That might be a bit irritating to carry along. We need to find people who will fit our personalities and enjoy what we do, and have the same kind of thought process as us, and contribute equally. I don't want to deal with having someone in the band who won't do things on their own. Although, it would be interesting to have.

I like the idea of having people play music while we just move around the stage and sing, but I also want to play something. I mean, I like just singing and wandering around the stage, but sometimes, I like to play an instrument and maybe sing. I like doing both. I mean, I want to learn how to play all these different instruments, so why not put it to use? I think it would be cool to like get up on stage without an instrument, then running off to play like a synth, or just a keyboard, or a guitar, or a bass, or a mandolin, or even drums, but not like an actual drummers drum set. More like a percussion instrument, like congas, or a djembe. Or even an organ, or some kind of brass instrument. I wanna be able to get on stage and just pick up any instrument and just play it, then switch to another. I've never seen it done, and I think it would be cool to do. Dancing around like a crazy lady, and playing anything I can touch, but also don't want to be the only one doing it. Just an idea.

I think it would be cool if we could use random pieces of trash things as instruments. Or even liek outdoor things, like wooden bozes, pieces of rock, glasses of water would be cool, like, I want ot make sounds with things that surround me. It'd be cool.

And, school. I want to go, but I don't know what for. I mean, I like the archeology idea, and I like the idea of doing astronomy, but I think I want to go for business, and just take a couple of like music classes, maybe study some Beatles, and I could take some dance class or something. I think it would be cool to be able to have a degree that basically requires me to travel for a job. I want to seee the world. And I want to make everything happen for me by playing music. I want to own stuff with the help of playing music and that just being my only source of income.

I was thinking about this earlier today. I have a goal. A serious one. That goal is to make a lot of phone calls, and send a bunch of e-mails, and to get a gig, a paid gig by the end of this month. That's my goal. And I'm gonna fucking make it fucking happen. It pisses me off that I'm so fucking lazy and I think it's about fucking time that I start kicking my own ass back into fucking shape. I need to get off my lazt ass, stop gaining weight and allowing everything weigh down on me, and just burst open. I need to wake the fuck up and do something productive, and I'll start by making those phone calls and demos. I want to take care of delivering the demos to these place because I know I can do it without Sandeeps help, I'm just being fucking lazy and making him do all the fucking work, which is just too ridiculous. It needs to fucking stop. He does everything to help, and what the fuck do I do? Sit and watch. Well, it's time to fucking get up and start doing shit my way, becasue I know that it'll work. It worked before, and I know I can do it. I just need to get the fuck up, put together a press kit, make some demos, and pass them out after making the phone calls. It's that simple.

I also want to be able to beat box on my own. I know I have to practice doing it, but I just get all clamped shut, and don't really want to express my practices. Which is just stupid. I also want to write a bunch more, like I want to write out stories, songs and raps. I think I could deffinitely find good use of it. And, I want to take a good listne to all of Sandeeps' old songs because I feel like they need something to be done with them. I feel like he needs to express those songs in front of some kind of crowd. I mean, he put the effort into making the songs in the first place, so I think that they should be shared, they should be heard. Maybe We I could even get us a paid gig and have it to be where he would only play his old songs. Ones that he's never performed. I think that'd be cool.

I'm done blogging on here for now. I'll think of better things later on when I'm not distracting myself and all...